How to Love Your Life
IT'S YOUR TURN: Start Loving Yourself and Your Life
1. Whose Life is This, Anyway?
It's time to define your own reality and create the life that will make you happy. This is your life. Create your own standard to measure your success. Many of us have been brainwashed into believing society's definition of success: lots of money, a high-powered job, a picture-perfect family, a big extravagant home and a beautiful body. This might work for some people, but all too often we are left feeling dissatisfied, restless and sad. We can't all squeeze ourselves into the same mold, and we shouldn't want to. Take some time to figure out what you really want out of life and then develop a strategy to achieve it. Now let's begin with a few basic premises.
2. You Are a Unique Human Being. You Matter.
No one else is more important, worthy, or special than you. Just because someone is richer, more famous, or more attractive does not make them more valuable than you are. There is goodness and love in you. Do not treat your own physical, emotional, and spiritual health as an afterthought. Make your own well-being a priority. You deserve all the bounty this world has to offer. You are worth it.
3. Erase Negative Programming.
Do away with all the old, negative messages you were given about yourself. If someone has told you that you are worthless, undeserving, dense or unattractive, that is their problem. No one has a right to judge you or belittle you. We are all struggling to get by in this world, and no one else has all the answers. Honor your own truth. In your own heart, you know who you are . . . don't let another take that power away from you. Love yourself.
4. Forgive Yourself . . . and Move On.
Okay . . . so maybe you did screw up on a few things, maybe even on most things. Some of us have to learn the hard way. There are really no failures or mistakes, just opportunities for growth. Usually something good does come out of our mistakes. So learn from them, don't repeat them, forgive yourself, and move on.
5. Make Amends.
If you've hurt someone else in the process of learning your life lessons, make it right. Reach out to them, and tell them you are sorry. Or just start being nice. You are accountable for your behavior. Own up to it.
6. Nurture Yourself.
Be good to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. If you are hurting or sad or lonely, honor that. Make time for yourself. Let yourself heal. Don't expect so much of yourself. Life can be downright brutal. Let the love within you and others carry you through. In time, you will see how much you have learned. It is worth the journey.
7. Everything in Life Happens for a Reason.
Life is full of peaks and valleys. Even though they are more difficult, you learn more during the valleys or the challenging times. When you are in a valley, you might not see the value of it; but later, when you look back, you will realize that you have learned a great deal. Know that nothing you experience is an accident. Everything you experience and everyone you meet teaches you something or holds a lesson for you.
8. Know That When One Door Closes, Another Opens.
Change is good. This is how you grow. Eventually you will see that sometimes you have to lose something to gain something else. Even illness, death, and financial loss have a purpose. Did a tragedy bring you closer to your family and friends? Did the community reach out to you? Were you forced to switch gears? Faith is knowing that everything is okay and works out. You will grow stronger from all that you experience.
9. Trust Your Instincts.
All your life, you have been taught to invalidate your feelings. This is wrong. Your subconscious mind continually picks up and processes cues from your environment and from other people. This is valuable information that you should not disregard. Don't let people talk you into doing something that doesn't feel right to you. Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right to you, then it probably isn't. And you don't have to justify how you feel. Just say, "No thank you," or "I'd rather not," or "I'm busy." Everyone else does not know more than you.
10. Being Alive Is Enough.
Just ask people who almost lost their lives and they will tell you that most of the stuff we fret over isn't that important. Being alive is a great gift. Don't define yourself in such narrow terms as your work, your body, your house, your kids, or your relationships. Learn to see what is precious around you each day. Do not take your good fortune for granted. Be thankful and humble. You do not have to justify your life with a big list of accomplishments. Try to experience just being alive.
11. Love Your Body.
It houses your spirit; it gets you what you need. Appreciate what your body can do and stop focusing on what it can't. No one else's body would be better for you. (Being thinner or better looking is not more valuable.) If you are not the most stunning person in town, then perhaps this makes you more approachable to others. Even if you have a physical disability, there is a reason for this. It is not to cause you suffering, rather it is an opportunity for you to grow or to understand or appreciate something in life. Perhaps this will be the vehicle through which you meet a kindred spirit or discover some hidden talent within you. Be at peace and trust that your soul is beautiful and so are you.
Seven Steps To Change Your Life
The quality of your life is directly related to your standards. A standard is a personal rule or expectation about the level of excellence you require in something, and when you raise your standards you change your life.
In my work I’ve found that most people haven’t taken time to define their standards. Invariably, they’ve inherited rules from others, leading them to live their lives using someone else’s game plan! If you’d like to improve the quality of your life, consider increasing your standards.
Your Model of Interaction
Your Model of Interaction dictates how you engage with people, and is related to who you believe you are. If you identify yourself an impatient person, you’ll treat others with impatience. If you identify yourself as kind, you’ll interact with others in a kind manner.
The law of reciprocity dictates that you will receive what you put out into the world. If you find yourself on the receiving end of uncooperative, negative behavior, it might be time to take a look in the mirror. If you already treat the people in your life with warmth and kindness, then you’re ahead of the game. Take a moment to define standards for how you’ll interact with others.
Your Ability to Keep Your Word
Your personal integrity is related to your ability to do what you say you’ll do. When you make a commitment, then you fail to follow through, you diminish your credibility and undermine your self confidence. When you follow through on your commitments, your credibility and self esteem increases.
The level of faith you have in your own ability to follow through on commitments will directly impact the quality of your life. You’ll be much more prepared to take risks when you have a high level of belief in yourself, and your willingness to risk is integral to your ability to tap into your potential.
Before you commit to something, make sure it fits within the framework of your life. If it doesn’t, don’t commit. If you commit, follow through. Set yourself up to win, and believe in your ability to keep your word.
The White Space in Your Life
White space is an open playing field. It’s uncommitted time. When you define standards to govern how you’ll spend your time, the quality of your life increases exponentially. When you include a requirement to schedule uncommitted time, your stress level will decrease exponentially. This supports you in embracing your responsibilities, rather than resenting them. Spend a few moments defining a standard to create white space in your life.
Your Physical Health and Vitality
Do you like the way that you look and feel? Realize that whatever you might be dissatisfied with is the result of the behavioral standard you’ve set for yourself.
If you want to change your appearance or energy level, it’s imperative to define standards of behavior that support your aspirations. Set some standards that guide how you’ll care for yourself!
Your Financial Position
Your financial reality is directly related to your financial standards. Wealthy people have a different set of behavioral standards than people who struggle financially. What financial realities do you find acceptable? Do you think it’s okay to have credit card debt? Do you require yourself to save? Have you established spending norms, or a process to use when making buying decisions? Take a few moments to define your financial standards.
Your attitude is your disposition or frame of mind. It’s how you see the world. In order to create the reality of your dreams, you must believe your dreams are possible. How are you going to approach your life? Will you allow yourself to honestly assess your reality? Will you believe you can impact your life? Will you require yourself to make the improvements required to develop the life of your dreams? Set those standards now.
Nothing will sabotage your efforts to live a quality life more conclusively than surrounding yourself with people who don’t support your standards. The most difficult course you’ll navigate as you make life improvements will be terminating relationships with people who aren’t equipped to grow with you, and reassuring those who are.
Your relationships have the capacity to tear you down or lift you up. Surrounding yourself with people who share similar standards is an incredibly powerful way to create a lifestyle that pulls you toward your highest potential. Surrounding yourself with people who don’t support your standards will almost surely degenerate the quality of your life.
Take a moment to consider the key people in your life. Do they conduct themselves in ways you respect? Do they support you and celebrate your successes? These are the people you should treasure and invest in. If they don’t, you may want to reconsider sharing your life with them. What standard will you hold for the people in your life?
Your standards act as the framework for your life. Increase your standards, improve your life!
Are you able to love yourself and your life? Do you see any areas that you could improve on? In what ways do you treat yourself? What standards do you hold yourself to?
Take some time for yourself on a regular basis, stop beating yourself up, love your body and the experiance you are having, this is your life, make every minute count, no regrets, just lessons learned!
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